I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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