The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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