Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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