I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
