Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
