Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
