my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
