is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm getting married
To pizza
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
