Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
