WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
