I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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