Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
