Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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