Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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