I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You may now shotgun with the bride
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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