OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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