My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
