wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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