Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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