he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
