What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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