I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
