Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
