can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
