In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
