You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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