So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I just sucked dick on a ferry
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
