My room smells like vodka and shame
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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