They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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