So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Randomize
