so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
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