Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
