So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
