There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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