all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
