Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
she peed on how many people?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
