Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
