OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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