forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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