remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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