Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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