he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
