Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
