are you still at the devil's house?
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Randomize
