love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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