Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
What drink are we having for lunch?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
