I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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