New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Can I color on your dick again?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
