Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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