she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
