I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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