Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
