So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
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