He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
