you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
